Domestic violence

Psychological and physical violence often leads to traumatic stress, anxiety and depression. Violence is never justified or the victim’s fault. It would be important to dare to tell a reliable person or authority about the violence you have experienced as soon as possible.

Domestic violence refers to violence in which the perpetrator and victim are or have been in a close relationship with each other. Domestic violence includes family and intimate partner violence.

Domestic violence does not exclude any social classes or cultures. Anyone can be the victim of violence, but in most cases it’s a woman. The perpetrator may be a partner, ex-partner, child, other family member, relative or acquaintance.

According to Statistics Finland, the number of victims of family and intimate partner violence reported to authorities in 2023 was 12,300, which was an increase of 5.3 per cent over the previous year. Of the victims of reported domestic and intimate partner violence aged 18 or more, 6,800 were women. There were slightly less than 2,500 male victims. The number of underage victims was 3,100, which was 12.2 per cent more than in the previous year.

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence usually starts gradually. It may be psychological, physical, even spiritual, sexual, property-related, financial violence, or threats of these. The violence aims at intimidation, subjugation, humiliation and harm, and is an abuse of power. It’s used by a person who uses violence to control another person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Neglect and mistreatment are also violence.

Psychological violence

Arguing or fierce discussions are not psychological violence; in arguments, the parties can express their disagreements without fear of consequences. Psychological violence, on the other hand, includes control, blackmail, name-calling, lying, breaking clothes or items, jealousy, isolation, threats of violence and threats of suicide. Threats involving financial matters, seizing shared money and threatening to mistreat loved ones are also psychological violence.

Physical violence

Physical violence is often preceded by psychological violence, especially in a relationship. Physical violence includes hitting, shaking, kicking and pushing, using various aids or by hand. Keeping someone awake, drugging, burning with a cigarette, sexual assault, chaining, spitting, biting or locking in a room are also physical violence.

Often when the perpetrator of violence hurts someone for the first time, the perpetrator regrets what they did and promises that it will never happen again. This may sometimes be the case. But if violence continues in spite of words, you are in a cycle of violence. In this case, the relationship alternates between good moments and moments of violence. The good moments can make you believe that the relationship is worth sticking to, and this will deepen the cycle.

It’s important to know that domestic violence usually increases and worsens if the perpetrator doesn’t seek help. The topic involves shame, secrecy and silence. That’s why not all domestic violence comes to the attention of the authorities.

It’s good to remember that domestic violence is a crime and is subject to public prosecution. Violence is never justified or right. Even provocation does not justify the use of violence. The responsibility for violence always rests with the perpetrator, even though the perpetrator may be skillful at blaming the victim. Change is possible, but it requires the perpetrator’s willingness to change.

Consequences of violence

Psychological and physical violence often leads to traumatic stress, anxiety and depression. They may cause various somatic symptoms, such as headaches or abdominal pain. Fear can also paralyse you, and being subjected to violence weakens self-confidence. In the worst case, the victim of violence may suffer permanent physical and psychological injuries.

Breaking free from and coping with violence

The cycle of violence is often broken too late – at the latest when the victim is lying in a hospital bed assaulted and the authorities intervene. It would be important to dare to tell a reliable person or authority about the violence you have experienced as soon as possible. In the case of a breakup, Victim Support Finland can help you create a security plan.

Many people have experienced the same thing and survived, so you’re not alone.

Breaking free from violence is a process after which you can survive. If it’s difficult to talk to friends and family members, you can always contact health and social service professionals, for example. Peer support, therapy and loved ones can help with coping.

The best way to support a person who has encountered violence is by listening, supporting and, if necessary, taking concrete measures. You can and should also ask about suspected violence as well. The victim and their experience must be taken seriously and the matter not swept under the carpet. Silent acceptance of violence is wrong and does not stop the violence.

Organisations providing help:

• In an emergency, call 112.
• Victim Support Finland
• Federation of Mother and Child Homes and Shelters
• National Nollalinja +358 80 005 005 
• Crisis Helpline +358 9 2525 0111 
• Naisten linja
• Miessakit Association