Self-harm and suicide
Self-destructive thoughts, suicide and attempted suicide are the result of a deep experience of hopelessness. Every year, approximately 700 Finns die through suicide. Even if you feel like you’re at a dead end, help is available.
Difficult life situations, serious illnesses or heavy life experiences may cause severe despair, and it my seems that there are no longer any ways to alleviate it. When you are facing a wall, suicide may look like the only solution. However, there are ways to make it out, and there is help to solve even things that seem impossible.
Every year, approximately 700 Finns die through suicide. On average, 2 to 3 suicides are committed per day. According to the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare, one in six people has thought of committing suicide at some point during their life. There are two or three people out of one hundred have suicidal thoughts during each year. For most, these thoughts pass quickly. The topic affects people of all ages regardless of gender or socio-economic status. Everyone who commits suicide or attempts to commit suicide is surrounded by family and friends, for whom the situation is a shock.
There is no need to be ashamed of self-destructive thoughts or attempted suicide, and it’s important to talk about them without fear of condemnation. In addition to family and friends, it’s also good to turn to professionals, even if it feels difficult to talk about it. It’s good to remember that professionals are trained to listen and help, and they are there for these kinds of situations.
How to help a self-destructive friend or family member?
Helping a self-destructive friend or family member may seem difficult. You can show concern by listening and asking about how things are going. You should also not be afraid to ask directly about death wishes and suicide plans. The more concrete the plans are, the greater the risk the person is at.
If someone dear to you says they want to die, it’s natural to be upset. It’s distressing to follow the despair of a person who is important to you. As someone close to a self-destructive person, you may need support to cope with the difficult life situation. This’s why it’s important to also seek help for yourself when necessary.
Possible alarm signals:
- Previous suicide attempt
- Strong self-destructive thoughts and talk
- Self-harm
- Suicide or attempted suicide in the immediate circle
- Concrete suicide plans (how, where, when)
- Severe mental health disorders
- Chronic diseases, especially those causing chronic pain
- Substance abuse problems
- Difficult life crises
- Retreatment, reclusion
It’s also good to remember that none of the above-mentioned alarm signals is always there.
It’s important to encourage people close to the self-destructive person to seek help. You can also seek help together with the person. If the person refuses to talk or seek help, you can call the emergency number or submit a notification of concern on their behalf. It’s important to inform the person about calling the emergency number.
How to cope with the suicide of a friend or family member?
The suicide of someone dear to you is deeply shocking, and handling it takes time and strength. Fear of losing them may have overshadowed your life for a long time. Similarly, suicide can come as a complete surprise, as thoughts and feelings are not always visible outside.
It’s natural to feel guilt for what has happened and wonder if you should have noticed something. However, a person’s suicide is never the fault of their friends or family, but always a desperate solution by the person. There’s no way to prevent all suicides.
Even if you feel that your own life has stopped because of a loved one’s suicide, you can recover. Grief leaves its mark and longing will accompany you through your life, but one day you’ll be able to remember your loved one without overwhelming pain.
The trauma and sorrow caused by the suicide of someone dear is also a risk for friends and family members. All possible help and support from other friends and family members as well as professionals should be accepted. Crisis assistance and often also discussions with other people who have experienced the same can help you overcome the worst.
Where to get help?
Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. Most are helped by talking. Some people get relief by expressing emotions through activities, such as exercise or art.
If you, a friend or a family member needs immediate help, call the emergency number 112.You can contact professional help by visiting a health centre emergency unit, a hospital emergency unit or a psychiatric emergency unit.
