Loneliness
Loneliness is common and people of all ages may feel lonely. Loneliness may feel shameful, it may even seem scary, and the person might not tell others about it. That’s why we need to talk about it more.
A person needs the closeness of another person. We all have the need to feel important to someone and the need to feel that someone is close and important. Everyone sometimes experiences feelings of loneliness in a temporary manner. This has nothing to do with whether the person has company. People can be lonely, even if they have a lot of friends.
Loneliness is hard, because everyone needs friends, acceptance from others and a sense of belonging. It may cause anxiety and pain. Exclusion from a group also hurts if you feel that you’re not accepted.
What can loneliness be like?
Loneliness can be temporary or long-term. Sometimes it’s connected to a situation. Everyone has passing feelings of loneliness. Loneliness can be influenced by both internal and external factors. Internal factors may include features of personality, such as shyness and external factors may include an unfamiliar living environment or bullying.
Loneliness can also be social or emotional. Social loneliness is due to the lack of a social network or the fact that you do not feel that you belong to any group. Emotional loneliness, on the other hand, is due to the fact that there is no close friend with whom you can talk about anything. This may also be due to the loss of a close personal relationship.
How to distinguish being alone from loneliness?
Being alone doesn’t always mean loneliness. Anyone can sometimes need their own peace or time to be alone. Voluntary solitude provides an opportunity for self-reflection and supports independence, but negative solitude is distressing.
You can also experience loneliness in a relationship. A relationship is thought to provide closeness, love and support. If these are missing from the relationship, loneliness may feel particularly heavy and distressing.
What can loneliness be related to?
Loneliness is often caused by the end of an important relationship. This may involve moving to another town, death or divorce. For example, a divorce can easily lead to a change in many familiar social patterns – for example, so that those who divorce are no longer invited to visit an acquaintance family. In most cases, this kind of loneliness can be overcome, and there will be other content and new social contacts in life.
Loneliness may be related to, for example:
- depression
- anxiety
- studying difficulties
- poor self-esteem and self-respect
- adaptation difficulties
- fear of new situations
- a new life situation
What helps with loneliness?
It’s important to accept yourself and be your own best friend. Peer support, talking about loneliness and writing about it may make you feel better. You can find new friends from hobbies, colleagues, clubs, associations, online communities, neighbours, pets and volunteering.
Social media can offer new contacts. On the other hand, the virtual world can also increase loneliness, as it lacks physical encounters. It’s important to be active and seek others’ company, even when it’s not easy. Living alone can also be seen as an opportunity, and for some it’s a conscious choice. Someone living alone often has a lot of personal time that can be utilised. You can do handicrafts or crafts, or learn a new skill, such as a foreign language. Doing and being active are important. In the best case scenario, this creates interaction between people in a completely natural way.
Support for loneliness:
- Valoa Chat by the Finnish Central Association for Mental Health
- HelsinkiMissio
- Sekasin chat
